My emotions are valid

My emotions are valid

There used to be days when I feel as if nothing is going to be okay.

I was in suspension – uncertain of the life I’ve lived and the future seems blurry and fading. I didn’t see what would happen past 20 years old.

In these moments I have tried to rationalize my emotions – gripping at some existential answer – some proof to validate my emotions. I hold on dearly for some distractions and want someone to tell me that I am okay and that my emotions are valid.

Finally, I learned to turn to myself – to accept that my emotions – the grief, the happiness – is all part of who I am. That these volatile emotions of immense sadness and spontaneous joy are acceptable given what I have gone through. And here I am, feeling 22 like that Taylor Swift song. The blurry future is still blurry, but it is no longer fading – it is an uncertain mess of opportunity, slowly but surely being pieced together again by my own hands.

I am learning to forgive myself for not being perfect. I am learning to accept that being perfect is not what I am striving for anymore, but instead, that to be happy and loving was far more important – to be vulnerable with friends and loved ones, to wear my insecurities and imperfects on my sleeve, and skin proudly, to show the world that I will ferociously love life again.

7 thoughts on “My emotions are valid

  1. “want someone to tell me that I am okay and that my emotions are valid.” there was a time that I also wanted to hear this, but then in this recent months, I found myself saying these words out loud, and understood that I ill only receive this kind words meaningfully from myself and only after that I might receive them from someone else.
    Differently from you I could always see where my future was headed, and I know that it would be successful and all of that but I also know that I wouldn’t be happy, so this year I decided to change my future and right now I can’t even imagine what could happen past July, or next month or even next week, and I find this so exciting and I m finally feeling happy with my future because of all the uncertainty it has, because of all the potential it can have.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. though it may not seem like it at the moment, you will certainly persevere through your harships and come back stronger each time. you’ve done it once and you will do it again and again. you are seen and heard and your feelings are completely valid, always and i genuinely mean it. your vulnerability and self-awareness is so moving and truly admirable to me personally.
    p.s i love your entire blog keep on killin it

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