I recently started the classic self-improvement book: How to Win Friends and Influence People. Here are the first three principles discussed.
Principle 1: Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain
Sharp criticism of other people doesn’t work.
People will always try and justify their wrongdoings, and condemn you back for sharp criticism. Sharp criticism is more like a homing pigeon >>> will always come back to you
Principle 2: Give honest sincere appreciation
Fear the friend who flatters you. This flattery can often be seen as manipulative or insincere/fake. Instead, look for people who offer genuine appreciation and praise, and do so yourself.
Principle 3: Arouse an eager want in people.
Bait the hook for what they want, not what YOU want.
The only sustainable way to get people to do things is to make them want to do it. Do not however create manipulation; create a mutual beneficial situation
Henry Ford once said:
“If there is any one secret to success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own”
Blog of Jeff Wang 