I like to look at people’s faces

Daily Blog 356

I like to look at people’s faces.

And I know that sounds extremely creepy, but please let me explain myself before you come to an immediate conclusion.

There is this… void, that I often feel in my own life.

How many times are we going to ask ourselves this question: “What is the purpose of life?”

I think if I ask it too many times to myself, I might spiral too deep into an existential crisis. But if I fear that if I don’t ask it enough, then this void that I’ve created within myself will inevitably continue to expand.

The question of purpose is what abates this void for me…at least in some weird and unexplainable way.

And I wish I knew

I wish I knew whether or not other people feel even just a little bit of the same.

How did these people get here? And where are they going?

Why are they here… and why are they going where they are going?

I’ve looked at people ever since I was a little kid… I remember one day in my childhood as I was getting watermelon juice at the big shopping mall near where I lived, and I just sat there, wondering why I was drinking this watermelon juice and why so many people were walking past me, and what each of their lives meant in this grand scheme of things as I continued to sip my juice. That watermelon juice was also damn good.

I look at people at my own campus.

What is this purpose I am looking for?

Is everyone else also looking for the same thing?

I try to see it in other people’s eyes.

And I’ve come to realize that every person, in their own beautiful way, is just as much as a complex of a human person as I am. I can see it on their face. I can see it in the way they walk. I can see it in the way that they are human.

I looked at people in Singapore, Penang, Bangkok, Hong Kong, Taipei, Shanghai, Beijing, New York, Los Angeles, Orlando, Vancouver… and I see this same complexity in every person.

This complexity. It scares me.

It scares me to think that these swarms of people all live complex lives. It scares me to think that I am a complex human being.

But it also excites me. It’s so beautiful. I want to spiral deep into this complexity.

Why didn’t they tell me that life would be so complicated?


2 responses to “I like to look at people’s faces”

  1. “This complexity. It scares me.”
    I can totally relate. But in my case the fear has faded and now I just try to embrace the weirdness of life.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for your comment. I totally agree as well. I hope one day I can be more at peace with this complexity! It is truly beautiful and weird–all a part of life.

      Liked by 1 person

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